Two Years

The Way We Were plus Beef Soup with Chiles, Potatoes, Carrots & Swiss Chard

Kris, Diane, Bob

Diane Keaton died this week and it made me miss my mom.

Robert Redford’s recent death made me miss her too.

My mom wasn’t obsessed with Hollywood but I do remember her grief when Elvis Presley died. I was just a little kid and I couldn’t understand feeling sad about the death of someone she didn’t even know. Of course, I was too young to understand how movies and music grow to feel like loved ones and become intertwined with our most meaningful memories.

My mom admired both Diane Keaton and Robert Redford and I know she would have felt incredibly sad at their passing - I have felt nostalgic and sad on her behalf. Annie Hall. Father of the Bride. The Way We Were. Out of Africa. Major, cultural touchstone movies that we’ve all seen repeatedly and quote from regularly. “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.” Gah. I would have loved to talk with her about all of it.

She’s been on my mind so much lately because of those deaths, and also because the second anniversary of her death is in just a few days. October 26.

My most persistent urge - a feeling I’m sure anyone who’s lost someone they love can relate to - is wanting to talk with her on the phone. My mom was a fantastic phone chat because she was a great listener, she was hysterical, she was informed, and she found even the most quotidian parts of my life somehow interesting.

Bearing intentional witness to the least shiny parts of a son or daughter’s life is probably one of the most special things that moms do. Anyone can be a cheerleader for the exciting things.

Moms are delighted by it all.

Two years in, that’s the thing I think about most often. There are others, too.

My mom would have loved that I moved to Denver. She herself became terrified of flying after a traumatic flight experience in her 20s, but she absolutely loved to travel and experience new cities and places. One of her regrets was that she didn’t have the courage to live more places than just the Midwest. In a different universe, if she’d had better health, I’m sure I could have convinced her to move here, too. I like that thought.

She would have loved to see her grandson Cooper graduate from high school, to be a college freshman here in Colorado, and to see my sister Stacey settled in her new home.

She would have loved to see my son and daughter-in-law’s house here in Denver. She would have been so happy to know that they (and Puppy JoJo) love their home, and their jobs, and the life they’re building here.

She would have loved to hear hilarious stories about my niece Blair Bear. She had totally lost her vision by the time Blair was born, but I would play videos for her so she could hear the audio of toddler chat and she got a huge kick out of Blair’s energy, spirit, and adorable voice.

She would have been angry, sad, and very stressed about national politics and I’m actually glad she’s missing that part.

She would love the beef chuck soup that’s in the oven right now, rich with dried chiles, potatoes, carrots, and swiss chard. When it’s done, I’ll cool and freeze it. When I pull it out on some future chilly day, I’ll season it with lime, cilantro, and avocado. She loved pot roast, and soup, and Mexican flavors of any kind, so this version would have delighted her. (I’ll put the recipe below.)

She would have laughed with me about an episode of the show Frasier I recently enjoyed. I’ve been rewatching it lately as a total stress relief binge and the episode Star Mitzvah made me laugh so hard I cried. Frasier’s son Frederik is becoming a bar mitzvah and Frasier wants to deliver his blessing to Frederik in Hebrew. He recruits a Jewish coworker to teach him how, then makes the guy angry (as Frasier does). As retribution, the coworker teaches Frasier to say his speech in Klingon (a language from Star Trek) instead and it’s so funny, on so many levels, it’s made me laugh for a whole week. She would have howled too.

She would love that none of the things that most infuriated me about her matter to me anymore. She carried a lot of guilt for not getting sober until she was 45 years old. And for not being able to quit smoking until she was 70 years old. And for creating a lot of stress for my sister and me in her later years. None of those things matter to me or really even register two years on. I don’t care. I just miss her.

Christmas with Mom & Stacey and The Table (below)

We don’t get to chat on the phone these days but I talk with her constantly. She’s still a great listener, never judges me, cheers on the most boring parts of my life, and laughs with me.

My mom gave me a watercolor print of a heron many years ago so whenever a heron pops up, I think of her. It’s our sign. I saw them all the time in Minneapolis because…City of Lakes and the Mississippi River. But in Denver? It’s dry as a bone here so I hadn’t even thought about seeing one.

Then on a walk this spring, the weekend of Mother’s Day, I glanced over at the nature preserve near my home and I’ll be damned…

…there was a heron.

❤️

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Bottom right is where it’s resting now.

While I’m deep-diving on nostalgia, I want to take a moment to celebrate that my beloved dining room table has landed in its sixth (so far) home, my sister’s new loft apartment.

I had the table made in 2000, a symbol to celebrate embarking on a new life as a divorced, single mom who planned to do a lot of entertaining. The table seats six, but has two leaves and can stretch out to seat 12 comfortably.

“If time, so fleeting, must like humans die, let it be filled with good food and good talk, and then embalmed in the perfumes of conviviality.” - MFK Fisher

I love it probably too much.

It’s just that it’s seen exactly as many wonderful meals and holidays and photoshoots and romantic dinners and cocktail parties and birthdays and riotous game nights as I hoped that it would when I stretched my budget to buy it.

I was living with my sister when I had it made, so it’s fitting that it’s landed in her home for now. I didn’t move it to Denver with me because renting an apartment with a full-size dining room was going to mean trading away too many other important things. (I have a lovely 4-top table in my apartment currently and that’s working out perfectly for now.)

The Table set with my mom’s china, her mom’s silver flatware and candlesticks, napkin rings from my sister-in-law…

Someday we’ll be reunited, though. I look forward to decking it out with my mom’s china and her mom’s silver and having the Denver iteration of family and friends over for dinners of healthy deliciousness and laughter.

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Beef Soup with Chiles, Potatoes, Carrots, Swiss Chard

Here’s the recipe for the beef soup I mentioned above. I chose mild dried chiles - guajillo, pasilla, ancho, or anaheim would all work. Make sure the chiles are soft and pliable.

Beef Soup with Chiles, Potatoes, Carrots & Swiss Chard
Serves 4

For the soup:

Four 6-inch long mild, dried chiles (or the equivalent length; remove/discard tops and either leave the seeds for heat or remove the seeds for mildest result)
2 cups hot water
1 pound beef chuck, cut into 1-inch cubes
Sea salt
1-2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 large white onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano
Freshly ground black pepper
4 cups beef or chicken broth
1 large carrot, peeled & diced
2 small yukon gold potatoes, diced
1/2 bunch swiss chard, trimmed and chopped
Juice of 1/2 lime

Garnish options (choose one or a few):

Sliced avocado
Lime wedges
Minced fresh cilantro
Seasoned black or pinto beans
Sliced fresh chiles or hot sauce
Dollop of yogurt or sour cream
Shredded cheese or crumbled queso fresco

Make the soup:

1. Preheat oven to 275°F. Set a Dutch oven (with a heavy lid) over medium heat. When pan is hot, add the chiles and toast until you see a bit of smoke. Flip chiles and briefly toast the second side. Remove pan from heat but reserve. Transfer chiles to a large bowl and cover with hot water (I boil mine in a tea kettle first). Top chiles with a smaller bowl to keep them submerged and let them soak for 15 minutes.

2. While the chiles soak, return pan to medium heat and add the olive oil. Season beef with salt. When oil is hot, without crowding the pan, brown the beef pieces, transferring them to a plate as you go.

3. When all the beef is browned, add the onion and garlic to the pan. Saute the onion, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes. Add the cumin, oregano, and several grinds of black pepper and saute for another minute or so. Return the beef and any accumulated juices to the pan. Add the beef broth and when the broth boils, turn heat to very low so the broth is just simmering.

4. Using tongs, transfer the chiles and a large pinch of salt to a blender. Add half of the soaking liquid and puree the chiles into a smooth paste (use more of the water if paste is too thick to blend easily). Add the paste to the simmering soup.

5. Cover the pot and transfer to the oven. Bake for one hour. Remove pot from oven and add the carrots, potatoes, and swiss chard. Season with a bit of salt, stir everything together, and return pot to oven for another hour or until potatoes and carrots are tender (beef too).

6. Before serving, stir lime juice into soup and add salt and/or pepper as needed. Divide among soup bowls and serve with garnishes.
   

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If you’ve been noticing a theme of healthy comfort food lately, well spotted. It reflects a combination of cozy autumn weather, missing my mom, existential stress, and developing recipes to share with my clients.

Food has a wonderful ability to bring down our stress levels. We’re hard-wired for it! This can either tank our health or improve it - it’s up to you.

Understanding how to feel full, comforted, and nourished with healthy and delicious food is a skill I believe everyone should master.

Bonus points for enjoying it at a table you cherish, on beautiful dishes, with candles, while enjoying either a Nancy Meyers’ movie or people you love.

To learn exactly how, click here to work with me.

xoxo Stephanie

PS If you haven’t tried my 3-day meal plan yet, what are you waiting for? It’s simple, delicious, filling, and provides a concrete example of how to eat for satiety and healthy weight loss. People are LOVING it and for now, it’s only $7.